My parents aren’t particularly religious people. I was raised in the 1980s and early 90s as the sort of passive Christian that so many Americans are today. My sisters and I were told by the members of our Southern Baptist church that Jesus loved us and so did God, and that if you were good you would get to go to heaven where everything was great. Bad people went to hell, which is a terrible place that no one wants to go. So have faith in God and be good, for goodness’ sake.
Well that all sounded great to my young ears – kind of like when your mother tells you to clean your room and you can have a cookie, except that in this case if I were a really good boy I would get all the cookies I could eat for eternity! Around eleven or so I went through the process of “study” and discussion prior to being baptized. I was not pressured in a negative sense, but it was impressed upon me that this was a right and good path to choose. When we discussed the Bible and the choice we were about to make it was done without any acknowledgment of other options or religions, except that we should not be baptized until we completely accepted Jesus Christ as our lord and savior. I was excited to be baptized and proud of myself for accomplishing a goal. At that time I didn’t really know that it was just that, a goal which had been set before me by others. I thought I had really wanted this thing. Looking back now I can see that I made a mistake and was too young and naive to truly know what I was doing. I didn’t “know” God any more than I knew that there might not be a God. All I knew was that this was what kids my age did, and that it was admirable to do so.
A few years later I saw a special on TV about the book of Revelation and the end of the world. I had also recently seen a movie about aliens destroying mankind, and so I was doubly petrified. As any studious young man would, I immediately found my Bible and read Revelation. This had the effect of completely terrifying me, so much so that I began to question why a God and religion that is supposed to be so good and full of hope would say in no uncertain terms that one day – soon I thought – he would decide he was tired of our sinning and destroy us all in the most unimaginably horrific manner possible. I asked the adults how this could be so, and they simply said that it wasn’t going to happen any time soon, and that people had been predicting the apocalypse forever and that God said that anyone who predicted the end of the world would be wrong. Besides, I was a good boy so I’d go to heaven anyway. Well that just didn’t sit right with me, and from that point on I no longer seriously believed in God or Christianity, but I didn’t formally reject them.
Some years later I began reading Joseph Campbell’s Myths to Live By and later The Power of Myth, which opened up a whole new way of viewing the world. Once you understand that modern religion is based on ancient myths, and that many of these stories are nearly identical across many cultures it is very difficult to come to the conclusion that these man made religions are anything more than just wonderful stories told to achieve a goal. The next logical question to ask is what that goal might be. I think it is clear that the goal is to assert control over a populous, and to convert people to your system of beliefs. The pius convert souls to save them from damnation, while the rest convert them to ensure their own salvation or collect their money. Today very few people are seriously concerned with the souls of their neighbors, and even fewer truly believe in the religion they prescribe to – for if they did, they would surely be raving like madmen in an attempt to convince one and all to perform the acts necessary for salvation before it’s all too late.
The brief study of Campbell’s books was like opening a door that I had seen for years but ignored. Life went on as it has a habit of doing, and I let my study lapse content that I had found some logical answers to nagging questions. For a number of years I went about the hum-drum business of life without a good deal more thought being put into the meaning of it.
Then one day while driving I heard on the radio that a lecture was to be given soon by a man who had been to India and studied Buddhism with the Dalai Lama. I had always wanted to know more about Buddhism, religions and philosophies of the east so I decided to attend. After the lecture I decided that I needed to begin studying such things post-haste, and began reading and listening to everything I could get a hold of. I have since met with numerous Buddhist monks and lay followers and have done a good deal of research into their philosophy and beliefs, and it is because I find this all so fascinating that I decided to start this website and blog with the idea that I can share and document my experience and possibly discuss it with others.
Leave a Reply